Starbucks, Yonganli, Beijing, China

Ordered at Starbucks China by Yonganli across from the Silk Market in Beijing.

I woke up to the blaring sound of Chinese folk music coming from outside; it felt foreign. Where am I? What time is it? If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? I checked the mirror – nope, just the bed head version of Evan Saunders.

I showered up, threw on some clothes, made my way out of the A Hotel in Gongti (which was great by the way; horrible English website that would scare away any foreigner from booking, but I had been familiar with it from living in this city) and through a crowd of tai chi-ers and towards my first and only errand of my business trip to Beijing: getting a suit made at the Silk Market.

Extreme culture shock and awe took over me as visions came back from my life in Beijing. It had been 4.5 months since I had set foot in the Middle Kingdom, and while over the course of that quarter-year it felt like I had lost touch with all of China, memories flooded through my mind as if they happened yesterday, and I suddenly felt quite alone back in the city I had lived for two years.

This was a business trip; no longer was I a tourist in China. No longer was I there enjoying life with my girlfriend. I was here to progress my company. And eat a lot of great Chinese food, the best perk of business trips.

Buddy, my go-to tailor at the Silk Market, didn’t arrive until 10am, so I had an hour to kill after I got to his stall. Hunger and a need for familiarity overcame me as a struggled to leave the Silk Market, girls grabbing at me trying to get me to buy overpriced knockoff goods. I needed to escape. I needed to feel back at home for a moment, before I bargained for my suits and before I sat down for my first meeting after (11am).

I knew of a Starbucks not too far, so I ran for it. This was no gamble – Starbucks had been a daily stop of mine for probably 16 out of the 24 months I lived in China, and there were two food items that always pleased me: their blueberry muffin (sooooooo delicious and not nearly as high in calories as its American counterpart) and their bacon and egg sandwich. I would order both, and I would be happy. No coffee needed right now – I’ll save that for my first meeting in order to fight the jet lag when it’s needed most.

I stared at the sandwiches in the empty Starbucks and immediately was shocked: sometime in the past four months Starbucks China had replaced their “Egg and Bacon Sandwich” with an “Egg and Bacon Club Sandwich.”

Who had made this decision? Did they identify a market opportunity? Was their original egg and bacon sandwich lacking so much they needed to add it to the club?

Let’s find out.

I ordered the club sandwich and a blueberry muffin and sat down by the window. My comfort food for the day was originally going to be simply bacon and egg in a sandwich, so while this “club” was a curveball, I was rather excited to try one approved and promoted by the international coffee chain I love most in this world.

The sandwich was heated and placed before me where I sat. Who would be excited staring at this club sandwich? Before I even bit into it, I was already thinking: “why oh why did Starbucks change their best sandwich in China??”

The Starbucks Bacon and Egg Club Sandwich was cold on the inside warm on the outside. The thick halved boiled egg embodied this warm/cold blend the most; not yummy. I missed the fried egg the original sandwich had. The bacon was the same – that was nice – however the extra layer of ham was gross and unnecessary; I couldn’t even eat this unappealing addition. The lettuce was overflowing and overbearing – the opposite of the thinly sliced slimy tomato that only appeared on one side of the sandwich. The mayo was lightly applied, which was nice for a Chinese-made sandwich that usually came down hard on the sauce usage. And the bread was the normal sandwich bread that screamed “We need some bread, let’s get the cheapest kind that westerners will eat” which isn’t going to impress anyone.

Why oh why did they take their best sandwich and ruin it. This club sandwich sucked. And I am/was harsher than usual because Starbucks is a brand I have traveled the world enjoying; this moment made me happy I no longer lived in China… surprising, because in this moment it really dawned on me the idea it was harder for me to escape and relax in this foreign land. Starbucks was my safe haven, but it was changing. Once again, culture shock came over me and I felt alone. This was not the comfort food I was looking for.

The blueberry muffin that came on the side – that’s a different story. Exactly as delicious and pleasurable as I remember it. Whoever does this baked good just kills it – I wish American Starbucks carried the same product. Just A+.

So I threw my half-eaten sandwich out, got 2 suits measured for me by Buddy, and left for my meeting with Ben at *gasp* Costa Coffee where we spent the first 4 of our 8 hours together that day reviewing everything and anything Attract China related. My business meeting made me feel more at home than a Starbucks Club Sandwich – and there’s something very wrong about that.

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